Just Me Thinking

Today, we went to Tarkio and I was in Casey's talking to Patsy, my manager. And while we were there the two sisters from the Monastery over in Clyde, MO came in. So my Baby got to meet Sr. Cathleen. Very exciting. Since then I have been thinking which I do alot of, most of it gets me to second guessing myself on most things.

It is going on 4 years-ago when I met my Baby. I was working at the little c-store here in Fairfax. Yes, I was married but to a man that was NOT very nice. That summer we argued ALOT. Bad enough, that Bobby (who was 13) took off on a bike and rode it to Craig. Which was about 8 or 9 miles on the highway. Me and the boys usually went to bed crying. The last night that I was at that house Trey (who was 5), me and their father went out to eat in Rock Port. We started out arguing and ended arguing. When we got home Trey and I was out at the car standing there. I was holding Trey. When the husband went in the house he slammed the door, we stayed outside. When he came out he slammed the door. Trey looked at me and honest to GOD, said "Mom please stop." SO that night I slept with the boys and told them that I was leaving the next day. That I wished that I could take them, but I knew that he wouldn't let me. But I told them that I loved them with all my heart, which I do. That was a Sunday when I told their father that "I WAS NOT GOING HOME!!" He told the boys "to get in the truck" and he told EVERYONE that I was going to take the boys to Texas and no one would ever see them again. The only person I knew in Texas was HIS BROTHER. So no, I was not going to do that. I had every intentions of going to Mound City and spend the night with my sister. Bill (before he was my Baby) told me that since I had to open the c-store in the morning that I could stay at his house on the couch with him and his son. That night we went out to eat at the Dairy Diner and the husband came in and said "You are lucky I didn't bring Baby with me!" His Baby was a 357 magnum. I asked him where my kids were and he said somewhere safe where I couldn't see them. That was in September. I didn't get to see them until December. After our divorce. He threatened me alot in that time, saying "that our divorce wasn't final and he could still do with me what he wanted." Anything. And he meant it. In the divorce- because I was tired of fighting with him and I just wanted him to leave me alone. He got the boys and he got my car. But more importantly, MY BOYS!! I hardly ever see them now, because along with everyone else he has them convinced that I don't love them. Which is a total lie.

So my Baby and I fell in love. We moved in together and we spent 2 and a half years without a car. In that 2 1/2 years we talked alot. Neither one of us had a car because without a job you can't get a car and without a car you cna't get a job. So we talked alot. We cried alot. We never, EVER FOUGHT! Or fight, for that matter. EVER!!

So when the Sisters of the Monastery came in today I got to thinking that it was amazing that I was there when they came. I just think that "you know, there are people that think that the way they live is wrong. And the way that we live is wrong. Me working outside the home while he just sits at home." IT IS NOT TRUE!! We talked for 2 1/2 years on this subject alone. So WE, both of us, NOT JUST BILL, both of us decided to get a car with HIS income tax and me get a job while he sits at home and works on his woodcrafts. That is his JOB!! And he does a wonderful job with them. Yes, you know, there for about 5 or 6 months he wasn't working on them because his mom passed away suddenly. She had talked to him the day before and the next night she was laying in the hospital brain dead. NO warning, NO nothing. Just at 67 years-old just dead. No car wreck just fell over DEAD. Did anyone tell him "sorry about your mom?" No my mom says "you didn't call me and tell me that she passed." SHE KNEW FOLKS. I talked to her the next day when we were on our way down to Joplin so Bill could see her. I talked to her while I was there, I talked to her when we got home. I talked to her when they called and said that "they were going to unplug the machine and that they were going to bring up some of her fabric for me to have." You know what my mom said to me while I was crying on the phone with her? She said "she isn't even dead yet." I really REALLY loved Frances, Bills' mom. She didn't judge us for anything. She accepted and encouraged us on everything. So when she passed, we put an obituary in the Fairfax, Tarkio and the St. Joe papers. So everyone could see. And she tells me that we didn't call her and tell her. So yes, for 5 or 6 months my Baby was trying to deal with losing his mom. And you know what, he has very well. I didn't deal with losing my children until years after, because I didn't have anyone supporting me emotionally. I didn't get to handle my emotions until I met my Baby and he helped me. Thank you, Baby.

Anyway, that is WHY I WORK AND HE STAYS HOME. Because we talked alot about it and it was best with me working outside the home and him at home because for one thing we only have one car and he can stay way busier on his business than I can. So that is why. I know that most of you don't care or that you will still judge us. But we both know in our hearts and our conscience that we ARE doing right. Neither one of us are doing anything against GOD or HUMANITY. Just the one's that think that they are right and that HE should be the bread-winner. But you know what, WE both LOVE our life we have together. No we don't have much money, but what we have is our's. We own our house, but to most people it isn't what they would chose. We own our car, to most people they want better. But as most of you know it doesn't take much to make me happy. I hate to shop, I don't want for anything, and my Baby is the same way. So for now folks, that is what I have been thinking about. I love my job, I love my Baby, I love my life. And for the first time in 19 years I can say with all honesty that I don't want to take my own life. I am truly and honestly happy. So for now folks, have a good day. Roxi

A Wonderful Chance Meeting

Yesterday, at work, there were 2 ladies that were really nice. They all are, but these 2 left a very humble woman, with a great gift. These 2 ladies came in and wanted a map of Nebraska. We sell them but they are so high in price so Patsy told this one to go to the rest area right before Council Bluffs and get a free one there. This other lady was just very quiet, but I guess just watching and observing. So they went outside to get in the car they were in. I was going outside and the lady that was quiet came back to the door where I was standing and handed me 3 soaps. They smelled ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL. The one that Patsy got was "Gingerbread Pumpkin", I got the one that was "Apple Berry Cream" and Rhonda got the one that was "Honey Cream." Oh my GOSH THEY ARE WONDERFUL. This first picture is of the front of the bag the soap is in. The tag says "Monastery Scents Handcrafted Saop." Inside the tag: (On the left side) "So that in all things God may be glorified." Rule of St. Benedictine Chapter 57. (On the right side) "These soaps are fragrant moisturizing bars containing saponified vegtable oils and natural glycerine to scent and soften your skin; a bit of Holy Water and a prayer for you." It also says "I am pleased to share with you the work of my hands, Sr. Cathleen Marie, osb"

So when I talked to my Baby and told him I had a surprise for him. He googled it. He found the website and they ACTUALLY had a interview with the woman that I met and they had pictures of the other lady as well. The one that gave us the soap was ACTUALLY SISTER CATHLEEN MARIE and the other lady was Sister Nancy. Which to me is WAY TOO COOL!!! I mean there are so many people in this world and I had to meet 2 ladies that would be so wonderful to share something like this with us. The website is http://www.benedictinesisters.org/ if you would like to go and see the interview. It is really awesome. I wish that there was some kind of scratch and sniff for you to witness the smell of this wonderful soap. It SMELLS GREAT!! Too bad mom didn't have something like this when we had to eat soap. I think it would even taste good. HAHAHA!!

I know, Baby, I know. But I have to share this. Wednesday I got to actually see something that is very tragic but something that I have never heard of. And of course I have pictures of it. I was sitting here at the table playing Pogo. I saw this really bright blue light coming from the flat by the grain bins. All of a sudden, there was a fire and some smoke coming from the transformer on the light pole. I was really freaking out didn't know if I needed to call the fire department or not. So anyway, it went out as fast as it started. There was a TURKEY BUZZARD that had flown into the transformer. It caught on fire. There was hardly any feathers left ont he poor thing.

I hope it didn't suffer. But oh my GOSH, it was so cool, terrible but cool. Sorry, I know it is very disturbing but how many times in your life are you going to see this??? Sorry, Baby, I know I am warped but I HAD TO SHARE it. I was going to explode.

Anyway, that is the news from here at Hamilton Homestead. Have a good night all. I have had a really REALLY good week. Just sitting back and realizing that the people and things you see, may never be happen if you don't stop and smell the flowers. You know? Everyone is in such a rush to get here and do this, but no one, NO ONE just stops to give someone a smile or even a thank you. It was very spiritual, both of the incidences. So with that note I am getting off of here and watch my Baby mow the yard and make supper. We are having chicken with flour and a package of dry ranch dressing mixed together and it is baking right now and smells wonderful. SO have a great night. Love to all. Roxi

ALOT Going on!!

This week has been very VERY BUSY!! And very VERY CHAOTIC!! Last Saturday I had to work from 4- 11 p.m. which normally I work 8-4. Not only did I have to close but we had the fight going on in town. ALOT of people came into town for that. Then Sunday, my Baby and I went to Tarkio to get some things from his uncle. He was actually storing it for Harry (My Baby's dad) and we got this little wagon with a homemade bear and little pillows. It is so cute. We also picked up his step-mom's sewing machine. His step-mom passed away about 7 years ago. So now I got a sewing machine and so on Monday I sewed 4 pillows after I cut out the fabric. I had way WAAAAYYYY TOOOOO MUUUUUCCCCCHHHHH fun. Tuesday I went back to my schedule. I worked 9-4. But on Wednesday I worked 6-2 so Patsy could take her granddaughter to college. I was getting ready for the big shin-dig. We had a Customer Appreciation Days from the 20th, 21st, and 22nd. It SUCKED BIG TIME. I put in 8 1/2 everyday except today. Today I got to leave early because I wasn't feeling good and I had my allotted hours. Actually if I would have stayed I would have gotten 40 plus hours. So I left at 1:30. We went up and seen Harry at the Nursing Home.

We had a nice surprise on Thursday. Elizabeth, Nathan, and Jessica, and the little one's came up from Kansas City. Here are some of the pictures from teh few hours they were here. I know that we sure did enjoy seeing them. Thank you guys for coming up. The little one's are sure growing up ALOT. When I walked in the house Little Gabe looks at me and said "Hi, gamma." I wanted to cry so bad. SO here are the pics.

Here is Elizabeth and Gabe.

Here is Nathan and his boys Adam (the oldest) and Isaiah (the littlest). Those boys are so cute. Nathan is my Baby's nephew, whom he raised as his own. And the boy's mom is Jessica. She wouldn't get in front of the camera. Maybe next time they come up.

The kids playing on the mower. They love grandpa's mower for some reason.

Here is the last of the pictures. This one is of little Isaiah behind Papa Bill's painting rack. He took off the little pumpkins off of the middle rack and was standing there so cute. We had way too much fun with them all. I said that I would put pictures of Trey Daniel on here. But these are just as cute. I will put them on tomorrow.

For right now I am going to get off of here and think about going to bed. It has been a long LOOOOONNNNNGGGG week. Tomorrow I am going to start working on MY shop. I have to work 8-4 tomorrow and Monday. Which is very unusual for me. They are usually my days off. I hate HATE dealing with mondays. But this week I have to. But I get Tuesday and Wednesday off. So next week I just have to work Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. And then have 2 days off again. So I don't think that will be too bad. But I dont want to think about that place anymore. I have a headache from that place. So have a good night and thank you for coming by and visiting. Thank you, Roxi

Sorry For the LACK OF POSTS

There has been so much going on. Saturday was my 38th birthday. WOOOHOOOO!! Had to work. But when I got home my Baby made me a cake, even though he didn't feel good. Thank you, Baby. I really appreciated it. And yes, it did taste wonderful.

This week our schedule is so messed up. I have had to close this week. Usually I have to work from 8-4. But this week I am working 4-11. So we haven't been going to bed until about 11:30 and going to sleep about 12:30 or 1. Usually we are laying in bed at 8 and going to sleep about 10. We have both been very spoiled with that. But I have still been sewing. I got two pillows done yesterday. I put the finishing touches on one of them and sewed the whole other pillow yesterday and got them listed on my Etsy shop. I am so EXCITED about having the shop and then on Monday I actually sold a pillow case. I WAS SO EXCITED about that. So Monday we shipped a pillow case to New Jersey.

I am going to take Bobby home. SO I will talk to you tomorrow and let you see some pictures I stole of my other son, Trey. I don't have to many of them and I had to steal them from other sights. OOPS!! But he is so cute. Have a good day all. Roxi

So Much Going On

There is so much going on at Hamilton Homestead. I have opened up an Etsy Shop!! I am so EXCITED!!!!!!!! Here is some of what I am working on. They are pillow covers. My Baby has been pushing me on this and I am so excited to tell you that it is working. VERY WELL!!!! Thank you Baby for supporting me and giving me the confidence that I needed to have to be able to open my shop along with yours'. Thank you, Baby, I love you with all of my heart. If you would like to go to my Etsy shop it is http://www.roxiscreations.etsy.com/ It is so cool all you have to do is click on the link.

And for those of you FROM the Etsy shop. Thank you for stopping by Hamilton Homestead. Your patronage is very humbling. Before my Baby I never EVER had the courage to do what I have done. As long as I could remember nothing that I did was right, but now with my Baby's help and loving support I have done it. So thank you to all the new "Friends" of Hamilton Homestead.

We are getting ready to go to bed so my Baby can hold me real tight. Good night all. Have a wonderful uneventful night. Hold your Baby real tight and all the bad images and nightmares go away. It really works. Thank you again to my Baby and all the new folks from Etsy.

Oh and by the way, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my folks. They have been married for 48 years today. Happy anniversary mom and dad. I love you.

Roxi