Our New Visitor

Right now this little rascal is out our window playing in the snow. My Baby went to the door and looked out and this opposum was out front walking toward the house. He scared him to the little shed. After a little while I seen him out the back window and I had to take a picture of it. It was so cool. I thought that I would share it with you.

My son, Bobby, stopped by the other day and he was sharing stories about me before I met My Baby. He was telling about the time that when Trey was little this little litter of puppies were barking up a storm and we went outside to see what was wrong and we looked down on the cement steps and there was a little bat there. I got a pair of gloves and picked it up and took it inside and put it into a birdcage that we had. We called the game warden and they said to put it into the tree out back upside down and it would go away. So after I let the kids look at it I took it outside and did what I was told.

Another time there was this HUGE black snake climbing the courthouse wall and I had ahold of it and was going to take it down to the creek and let it go. Bobby started honking the horn and it made the snake really mad. So I had to let it go on its way. When Trey, my Baby, and I was walking in the field just south of the house. My Baby was rabbiting hunting and there was this little snake slithering along. I picked it up, Trey thought it was really cool. So did I.

I have always been that way with wild animals. When I was little I actually caught a kit hawk that was hurt. We called the lady down the road, she worked at the refuge, it ended up dying, but I saved it for the night. I also saved a little pig one time when her momma squished her. Dad was climbing the grain bin, before he went up, I was crying and trying to get it alive. Daddy showed me how to kinda do cpr on it. I massaged its side and by the time daddy came back down the little pig was up and running around in the back of the truck. He couldn't believe it. Neither could I, honestly.

But, anyway, I am done "chasing rabbits" with all these stories and I am sure boring the poop out of you. I will let you go. Have a great night and maybe real soon- before the end of the year- I will tell you about our Christmas. Take care of yourself and all the little critters that you may have. Good night, Roxi

A BEAUTIFUL CHRISTMAS POEM

A Different Christmas POEM

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.


The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear..
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.

Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?"I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..

To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers." My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall.."

" So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.


Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our U.S service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us.

My brother sent this to me and I just had to share with all of you. Please thank every soldier for our being aboe to celebrate the birth of Christ Jesus in our own homes. And wish them all a very Merry Christmas and may there be PEACE ON EARTH and GOODWILL TOWARD MEN and WOMEN!!
Thank you and have a great night. Hold your baby real tight. I will post tomorrow about how bad our week was. Talk to you tomorrow, Roxi

GREAT NEWS!!!

I am so EXCITED!!! WOOOHOOOO I know all of you might not be, but we are. The day before yesterday at work, I was talking about my cat and little bear ornaments. This lady, Rhonda who works with me asked me to bring in them for her to see. So I bought them in for her to see and she bought the cat and one of the ornaments. I even have the other Rhonda buying another ornament. I was so excited about it.

And then I have the next two days off. This woman or her man, neither one of us, are going to answer the phone. So don't call. We are out fishing. LOL!! No not really, but he is going to be painting and I am going to be sewing. I can't wait. WHOOOOHOOOOO!!!! I love it.

I can't believe that it is only three weeks until CHRISTMAS!! Oh MY GOSH!! I know one thing- TIME CAN SLOW DOWN!!! PLEASE!! WOW!! I hate it.

Anyway, wanted to share that with you. Have a great night. I know we will, my Baby and I have been planning a really REALLY GREAT NIGHT all day. SO hold your baby tight and have a great night. Roxi

December!!

December has always been VERY hard for me. When I lost my daughter, Sarah Marie, she was buried the day before Christmas Eve. I didn't want her to wait until after Christmas or be buried on Christmas or Christmas Eve. When we got back to our house in Nebraska after burying her, our tree was up and the presents were all under the tree. So for many years my family kept getting on to me for not putting my tree up until Christmas Eve and taking it down Christmas afternoon. It seemed pretty worthless for it be up when the presents were unwrapped. Up until my Baby, I didn't go and get Christmas presents until Christmas Eve. I hated HATED the holiday. Along with Easter- pretty much for the same reason. I lost Allen Scott the day before Easter. Now with my Baby's help we put the tree up right around this time of year and I don't cry as much as I did before. Even today Dear Abby had a poem that I wanted to share with you all. It is a very touching poem, that I know helps me try and get a grip on my kids. They had Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) it was actually called Werdnig-Hoffman Disease. I know that I have talked about them often. I am sorry. I think about them often. Please enjoy the poem.

HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD

A meeting was held quite far from Earth.
It was time again for another birth.
Said the Angels to the Lord above --
"This special child will need much love.
"Her progress may be very slow,
"Accomplishment she may not show.
"And she'll require extra care
"From the folks she meets down there.
"She may not run or laugh or play,
"Her thoughts may seem quite far away.
"So many times she will be labeled
"'different,' 'helpless' and disabled.
"So, let's be careful where she's sent.
"We want her life to be content.
"Please, Lord, find the parents who
"Will do a special job for you.
"They will not realize right away
"The leading role they are asked to play.
"But with this child sent from above
"Comes stronger faith, and richer love.
"And soon they'll know the privilege given
"In caring for their gift from heaven.
"Their precious charge, so meek and mild
"Is heaven's very special child."

Thank you, Baby for helping make some sense out of losing them. I love you with all of my heart. I hope you all have a great night. Hold your Baby real tight and maybe the nightmares will go away. I know they did for me last night. I love you, Baby. Thank you for stopping by and reading the poem.

Update!!

I am so sorry that it has been so long. Happy Halloween!!! Happy Thanksgiving!! We had a pretty good Halloween and Thanksgiving. My Baby and I got to hand out some candy to the little kids for Halloween. It was EXCITING!! I have never done that before. I actually got to give some away at work. I really enjoy the little ones that come in. Thanksgiving was hectic. I had to work and my poor Baby had to make the dinner so we could eat when I got home. It was wonderful to eat when we got home. Elizabeth and Kaley were here with little Gabriel. Who is not so little anymore. He is 2 and a half. Bobby and Trey stopped by for a little while. We got to see my sister after I got off. They stopped at Casey's. I got to talk to her for a minute before we had to come home and they were headed to Maryville.

I had a couple of sales on my Etsy shop. One lady was from Great Britain and the other lady was going to send me a money order, but I never got it. So I relisted the cats that she bought. I am working on some teddy bear ornaments right now. Hopefully, they sell. I don't know for sure though.

Anyway, that is all that is going on here at Hamilton Homestead. I will try and get better at posting. I don't want to talk about Casey's. I just really don't. I spend enough time up there, without talking about it too. Have a great night. I will talk to you soon. Roxi

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT IS OCTOBER!!

Where has the time gone?! Oh my gosh, this is very scary. I can't believe it. There isn't too much to talk about. I had to work today because the lady who usually works on Sundays got hurt a couple of weeks ago. She usually does the truck as well, but this Friday it will be the third week that she doesn't do it. The first Friday I had to unload the truck by myself. It SUCKED!! And LUCKY ME I get to do it this friday if she isn't back yet. I got REALLY hot and then I sat down out in the shade to cool off. WELL, GUESS WHAT? Joyous me, I got the cold that everyone else is getting from this weather. In the mornings it is cold enough for the heater to run and the afternoon it is actually warm enough for the air conditioner. CRAAAZZZZYYYY!!!! I hate this time of year. Then I gave it to my Baby, I am so sorry, honey. I did not want to, but you are so gorgeous and I just have to kiss you. So anyway, that is what is going on at work.

Oh and guess what else?! Since I have had this cold, I have only had two and a half cigarrettes a day. It really is hurting my chest so that is all I have smoked. Actually, today all I have had is 1. Tomorrow will be the real test. I am off tomorrow, so we will see. Hopefully, I can stop. I know that I can quit drinking (cold-turkey) and quit marijuana (cold-turkey) so I am thinking that I can kick this cold-turkey. I sure hope so. Maybe we can save money and use that money on something else. We would have alot. I know that when I am off we go through about 2 packs a day is not two and a half. That is actually alot. We smoke Pall Malls so they are $4.37 a pack with tax. CRAZY!!

I found out today that Trey Daniel is out for Flag Football. He was out on the field playing and I asked Bobby Daren if he was playing. He actually said "yeah." Like I was to know. I told him, "that hey, unless you tell me anything I don't know anything that is going on with them." It drives me crazy the way that I get treated. But hey, that's life. As my Baby tells me. Someone had that as a song or something. He could tell you, but I can't.

Anyway, I wanted to tell you what all is going on here at Hamilton Homestead. I am terrible to not do this all the time. I will try to get better. Most of my time is talking about or working at Casey's. It sucks. I am so sorry, honey, for boring you with my work and then talking about it all the time. I do love you and thank you for doing the laundry. I am sorry that you are feeling bad. I love you. SO anyway, folks, I will talk to you later. Roxi

DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA

OH MY GOSH, I HATE DRAMA.. This weekend we had a WHOLE LOT OF it. My boss and her sister invited me to a night out. I was paying $40, my half of the motel room, and my meals. It WOULD HAVE BEEN WONDERFUL. We were going to go and see "Menopausal: the Musical". It was going to be on October 24th. I was going to take that Friday, Saturday, and of course Sunday and Monday, which I have Sunday and Monday off anyway. So I was only going to take 16 hours of MY vacation time. Which I have alot of. I have never been to anything like that before, or even been to a concert. So it would have been awesome. But, of course, like anything in my life that would have been wonderful and fun, someone has to ruin it. THIS time it was co-workers. BECAUSE I didn't say anything to anyone except my Baby, 2 other co-workers (one whom I was speaking to, and the other wanted to know WHAT we were talking about). And me, being STUPID, I told her. And like all rumors, IT SPREAD and it WAS WRONG. SHE told a co-worker that Patsy was paying for EVERYTHING!! That was so WRONG!! I was paying for my own things. But, so 3 co-workers, got their way and threw a FIT like a 2-year-old. And what I don't understand was WHAT THE HELL DID IT HAVE TO DO WITH THEM!! Another thing was: if my son, WHOM IS TURNING 18 that day, still wants me to go, who are they to ruin our night. Patsy and her sister asked me about a month ago. Since then this one co-worker has had a fit twice because of me. Once when we were having "Customer Appreciation Days" I didn't come to work at 7 when the local radio station was there and the poor baby was in the kitchen by herself. WAAAAAAA!!! I was scheduled to be there at 8, I clocked in at 7:47. WAAAAA!!!! And then the next week, because I had over 40 hours, I came in an hour late and I didn't change it on the schedule, she was crying because I was late. And THE BOSS KNEW IT. So did the assistant, whom was working that day. WAAAAAAA!!!! So APPARENTLY, ROXI'S LIFE IS EXCITING!!! Where? I don't know, but we keep a pretty good tab on what she is doing. I am wondering if I need to write down an itenerary for all of them, HOLY COW!! No, I am NOT GOING, I was HONESTLY thinking of quitting, but nope I am not. They want rid of me they can do it like they are Patsy by writing to corporate and lying. But, of course, they aren't leaving their names, oh no, why would we do that. We don't want anyone to know that it is US that is doing it.

Anyway, my Baby got me a table so I can sew to my hearts' content. I love it, thank you, Baby. This is "sewing central" it is so EXCITING!! I love it. Sunday, we rearranged our living room. It is huge now, for a trailer. Right beside the table is "painting central" where my Baby gets to paint. I love it. My Baby is going to go to Hy-Vee and sell his crafts this weekend. Hopefully, I can get off Saturday and go with him. I worked yesterday and today. If I don't take some of it off, I will have overtime. And that will make the 3 of them really mad. WAAAAAA!!!!!! Man, I am going to have to buy out the kleenex business for the blubbering babies that we have to deal with, aren't we?

That is all that is going on in our little part of the whole world, not much but a whole lot of stuff hitting the fan. Oh yeah, BTW, Bobby Daren had a football game here at Fairfax the other night, they lost, but not by much. I was so proud of him and his team. Homecoming is here at Fairfax the 9th of October. And if would be able to sit and watch it WITHOUT DRAMA we will be there, but doubtfully. I HATE MOST PEOPLE!! I guess, I will get off of here and do the dishes and go to bed. Just in case anyone is interested. Have a good night all, Roxi

ITS MY BABY'S BIRTHDAY

HAPPY 50th BABY, I love you with all of my heart!! Thank you for being here with me and loving me through everything. I hope that you had a great day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY 9-9-1959 to 9-9-9 ISN'T THAT TOOO COOOOOLLLLL!!!!

Just Me Thinking

Today, we went to Tarkio and I was in Casey's talking to Patsy, my manager. And while we were there the two sisters from the Monastery over in Clyde, MO came in. So my Baby got to meet Sr. Cathleen. Very exciting. Since then I have been thinking which I do alot of, most of it gets me to second guessing myself on most things.

It is going on 4 years-ago when I met my Baby. I was working at the little c-store here in Fairfax. Yes, I was married but to a man that was NOT very nice. That summer we argued ALOT. Bad enough, that Bobby (who was 13) took off on a bike and rode it to Craig. Which was about 8 or 9 miles on the highway. Me and the boys usually went to bed crying. The last night that I was at that house Trey (who was 5), me and their father went out to eat in Rock Port. We started out arguing and ended arguing. When we got home Trey and I was out at the car standing there. I was holding Trey. When the husband went in the house he slammed the door, we stayed outside. When he came out he slammed the door. Trey looked at me and honest to GOD, said "Mom please stop." SO that night I slept with the boys and told them that I was leaving the next day. That I wished that I could take them, but I knew that he wouldn't let me. But I told them that I loved them with all my heart, which I do. That was a Sunday when I told their father that "I WAS NOT GOING HOME!!" He told the boys "to get in the truck" and he told EVERYONE that I was going to take the boys to Texas and no one would ever see them again. The only person I knew in Texas was HIS BROTHER. So no, I was not going to do that. I had every intentions of going to Mound City and spend the night with my sister. Bill (before he was my Baby) told me that since I had to open the c-store in the morning that I could stay at his house on the couch with him and his son. That night we went out to eat at the Dairy Diner and the husband came in and said "You are lucky I didn't bring Baby with me!" His Baby was a 357 magnum. I asked him where my kids were and he said somewhere safe where I couldn't see them. That was in September. I didn't get to see them until December. After our divorce. He threatened me alot in that time, saying "that our divorce wasn't final and he could still do with me what he wanted." Anything. And he meant it. In the divorce- because I was tired of fighting with him and I just wanted him to leave me alone. He got the boys and he got my car. But more importantly, MY BOYS!! I hardly ever see them now, because along with everyone else he has them convinced that I don't love them. Which is a total lie.

So my Baby and I fell in love. We moved in together and we spent 2 and a half years without a car. In that 2 1/2 years we talked alot. Neither one of us had a car because without a job you can't get a car and without a car you cna't get a job. So we talked alot. We cried alot. We never, EVER FOUGHT! Or fight, for that matter. EVER!!

So when the Sisters of the Monastery came in today I got to thinking that it was amazing that I was there when they came. I just think that "you know, there are people that think that the way they live is wrong. And the way that we live is wrong. Me working outside the home while he just sits at home." IT IS NOT TRUE!! We talked for 2 1/2 years on this subject alone. So WE, both of us, NOT JUST BILL, both of us decided to get a car with HIS income tax and me get a job while he sits at home and works on his woodcrafts. That is his JOB!! And he does a wonderful job with them. Yes, you know, there for about 5 or 6 months he wasn't working on them because his mom passed away suddenly. She had talked to him the day before and the next night she was laying in the hospital brain dead. NO warning, NO nothing. Just at 67 years-old just dead. No car wreck just fell over DEAD. Did anyone tell him "sorry about your mom?" No my mom says "you didn't call me and tell me that she passed." SHE KNEW FOLKS. I talked to her the next day when we were on our way down to Joplin so Bill could see her. I talked to her while I was there, I talked to her when we got home. I talked to her when they called and said that "they were going to unplug the machine and that they were going to bring up some of her fabric for me to have." You know what my mom said to me while I was crying on the phone with her? She said "she isn't even dead yet." I really REALLY loved Frances, Bills' mom. She didn't judge us for anything. She accepted and encouraged us on everything. So when she passed, we put an obituary in the Fairfax, Tarkio and the St. Joe papers. So everyone could see. And she tells me that we didn't call her and tell her. So yes, for 5 or 6 months my Baby was trying to deal with losing his mom. And you know what, he has very well. I didn't deal with losing my children until years after, because I didn't have anyone supporting me emotionally. I didn't get to handle my emotions until I met my Baby and he helped me. Thank you, Baby.

Anyway, that is WHY I WORK AND HE STAYS HOME. Because we talked alot about it and it was best with me working outside the home and him at home because for one thing we only have one car and he can stay way busier on his business than I can. So that is why. I know that most of you don't care or that you will still judge us. But we both know in our hearts and our conscience that we ARE doing right. Neither one of us are doing anything against GOD or HUMANITY. Just the one's that think that they are right and that HE should be the bread-winner. But you know what, WE both LOVE our life we have together. No we don't have much money, but what we have is our's. We own our house, but to most people it isn't what they would chose. We own our car, to most people they want better. But as most of you know it doesn't take much to make me happy. I hate to shop, I don't want for anything, and my Baby is the same way. So for now folks, that is what I have been thinking about. I love my job, I love my Baby, I love my life. And for the first time in 19 years I can say with all honesty that I don't want to take my own life. I am truly and honestly happy. So for now folks, have a good day. Roxi

A Wonderful Chance Meeting

Yesterday, at work, there were 2 ladies that were really nice. They all are, but these 2 left a very humble woman, with a great gift. These 2 ladies came in and wanted a map of Nebraska. We sell them but they are so high in price so Patsy told this one to go to the rest area right before Council Bluffs and get a free one there. This other lady was just very quiet, but I guess just watching and observing. So they went outside to get in the car they were in. I was going outside and the lady that was quiet came back to the door where I was standing and handed me 3 soaps. They smelled ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL. The one that Patsy got was "Gingerbread Pumpkin", I got the one that was "Apple Berry Cream" and Rhonda got the one that was "Honey Cream." Oh my GOSH THEY ARE WONDERFUL. This first picture is of the front of the bag the soap is in. The tag says "Monastery Scents Handcrafted Saop." Inside the tag: (On the left side) "So that in all things God may be glorified." Rule of St. Benedictine Chapter 57. (On the right side) "These soaps are fragrant moisturizing bars containing saponified vegtable oils and natural glycerine to scent and soften your skin; a bit of Holy Water and a prayer for you." It also says "I am pleased to share with you the work of my hands, Sr. Cathleen Marie, osb"

So when I talked to my Baby and told him I had a surprise for him. He googled it. He found the website and they ACTUALLY had a interview with the woman that I met and they had pictures of the other lady as well. The one that gave us the soap was ACTUALLY SISTER CATHLEEN MARIE and the other lady was Sister Nancy. Which to me is WAY TOO COOL!!! I mean there are so many people in this world and I had to meet 2 ladies that would be so wonderful to share something like this with us. The website is http://www.benedictinesisters.org/ if you would like to go and see the interview. It is really awesome. I wish that there was some kind of scratch and sniff for you to witness the smell of this wonderful soap. It SMELLS GREAT!! Too bad mom didn't have something like this when we had to eat soap. I think it would even taste good. HAHAHA!!

I know, Baby, I know. But I have to share this. Wednesday I got to actually see something that is very tragic but something that I have never heard of. And of course I have pictures of it. I was sitting here at the table playing Pogo. I saw this really bright blue light coming from the flat by the grain bins. All of a sudden, there was a fire and some smoke coming from the transformer on the light pole. I was really freaking out didn't know if I needed to call the fire department or not. So anyway, it went out as fast as it started. There was a TURKEY BUZZARD that had flown into the transformer. It caught on fire. There was hardly any feathers left ont he poor thing.

I hope it didn't suffer. But oh my GOSH, it was so cool, terrible but cool. Sorry, I know it is very disturbing but how many times in your life are you going to see this??? Sorry, Baby, I know I am warped but I HAD TO SHARE it. I was going to explode.

Anyway, that is the news from here at Hamilton Homestead. Have a good night all. I have had a really REALLY good week. Just sitting back and realizing that the people and things you see, may never be happen if you don't stop and smell the flowers. You know? Everyone is in such a rush to get here and do this, but no one, NO ONE just stops to give someone a smile or even a thank you. It was very spiritual, both of the incidences. So with that note I am getting off of here and watch my Baby mow the yard and make supper. We are having chicken with flour and a package of dry ranch dressing mixed together and it is baking right now and smells wonderful. SO have a great night. Love to all. Roxi

ALOT Going on!!

This week has been very VERY BUSY!! And very VERY CHAOTIC!! Last Saturday I had to work from 4- 11 p.m. which normally I work 8-4. Not only did I have to close but we had the fight going on in town. ALOT of people came into town for that. Then Sunday, my Baby and I went to Tarkio to get some things from his uncle. He was actually storing it for Harry (My Baby's dad) and we got this little wagon with a homemade bear and little pillows. It is so cute. We also picked up his step-mom's sewing machine. His step-mom passed away about 7 years ago. So now I got a sewing machine and so on Monday I sewed 4 pillows after I cut out the fabric. I had way WAAAAYYYY TOOOOO MUUUUUCCCCCHHHHH fun. Tuesday I went back to my schedule. I worked 9-4. But on Wednesday I worked 6-2 so Patsy could take her granddaughter to college. I was getting ready for the big shin-dig. We had a Customer Appreciation Days from the 20th, 21st, and 22nd. It SUCKED BIG TIME. I put in 8 1/2 everyday except today. Today I got to leave early because I wasn't feeling good and I had my allotted hours. Actually if I would have stayed I would have gotten 40 plus hours. So I left at 1:30. We went up and seen Harry at the Nursing Home.

We had a nice surprise on Thursday. Elizabeth, Nathan, and Jessica, and the little one's came up from Kansas City. Here are some of the pictures from teh few hours they were here. I know that we sure did enjoy seeing them. Thank you guys for coming up. The little one's are sure growing up ALOT. When I walked in the house Little Gabe looks at me and said "Hi, gamma." I wanted to cry so bad. SO here are the pics.

Here is Elizabeth and Gabe.

Here is Nathan and his boys Adam (the oldest) and Isaiah (the littlest). Those boys are so cute. Nathan is my Baby's nephew, whom he raised as his own. And the boy's mom is Jessica. She wouldn't get in front of the camera. Maybe next time they come up.

The kids playing on the mower. They love grandpa's mower for some reason.

Here is the last of the pictures. This one is of little Isaiah behind Papa Bill's painting rack. He took off the little pumpkins off of the middle rack and was standing there so cute. We had way too much fun with them all. I said that I would put pictures of Trey Daniel on here. But these are just as cute. I will put them on tomorrow.

For right now I am going to get off of here and think about going to bed. It has been a long LOOOOONNNNNGGGG week. Tomorrow I am going to start working on MY shop. I have to work 8-4 tomorrow and Monday. Which is very unusual for me. They are usually my days off. I hate HATE dealing with mondays. But this week I have to. But I get Tuesday and Wednesday off. So next week I just have to work Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. And then have 2 days off again. So I don't think that will be too bad. But I dont want to think about that place anymore. I have a headache from that place. So have a good night and thank you for coming by and visiting. Thank you, Roxi

Sorry For the LACK OF POSTS

There has been so much going on. Saturday was my 38th birthday. WOOOHOOOO!! Had to work. But when I got home my Baby made me a cake, even though he didn't feel good. Thank you, Baby. I really appreciated it. And yes, it did taste wonderful.

This week our schedule is so messed up. I have had to close this week. Usually I have to work from 8-4. But this week I am working 4-11. So we haven't been going to bed until about 11:30 and going to sleep about 12:30 or 1. Usually we are laying in bed at 8 and going to sleep about 10. We have both been very spoiled with that. But I have still been sewing. I got two pillows done yesterday. I put the finishing touches on one of them and sewed the whole other pillow yesterday and got them listed on my Etsy shop. I am so EXCITED about having the shop and then on Monday I actually sold a pillow case. I WAS SO EXCITED about that. So Monday we shipped a pillow case to New Jersey.

I am going to take Bobby home. SO I will talk to you tomorrow and let you see some pictures I stole of my other son, Trey. I don't have to many of them and I had to steal them from other sights. OOPS!! But he is so cute. Have a good day all. Roxi

So Much Going On

There is so much going on at Hamilton Homestead. I have opened up an Etsy Shop!! I am so EXCITED!!!!!!!! Here is some of what I am working on. They are pillow covers. My Baby has been pushing me on this and I am so excited to tell you that it is working. VERY WELL!!!! Thank you Baby for supporting me and giving me the confidence that I needed to have to be able to open my shop along with yours'. Thank you, Baby, I love you with all of my heart. If you would like to go to my Etsy shop it is http://www.roxiscreations.etsy.com/ It is so cool all you have to do is click on the link.

And for those of you FROM the Etsy shop. Thank you for stopping by Hamilton Homestead. Your patronage is very humbling. Before my Baby I never EVER had the courage to do what I have done. As long as I could remember nothing that I did was right, but now with my Baby's help and loving support I have done it. So thank you to all the new "Friends" of Hamilton Homestead.

We are getting ready to go to bed so my Baby can hold me real tight. Good night all. Have a wonderful uneventful night. Hold your Baby real tight and all the bad images and nightmares go away. It really works. Thank you again to my Baby and all the new folks from Etsy.

Oh and by the way, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my folks. They have been married for 48 years today. Happy anniversary mom and dad. I love you.

Roxi

Playing Manager

Yesterday I had to go to work before 7 because the manager and assistant manager went to St. Joe to a meeting. SO very exciting for me, NOT!! I had to check in the Wonder Bread guy and the Milk guy and everyone else that came in wanting the manager. So I got through yesterday alright.

Today was a totally different situation. And the manager was there!! There was a guy delivering a CO2 canister. He walked in and automatically looked at me and said that he had a CO2 for us where did I want it. NOT EVEN KIDDING!! What did I want to do with it?! Patsy was on my register so I told him that Patsy will deal with him. So she dealt with that one. Then when she was downtown a guy called and wanted to talk to the manager and asked if I was it. I just kinda laughed and said no. I told him to call back in a half an hour. Which he never did. Then when I was standing there waiting for 4 o'clock a lady walked in and said that she just got her car out of the shop because there was something in the gas and she only gets her gas from Casey's. She walked in and just looked right at me, telling me. All I did was tell her that I was sorry. I just kept telling her that over and over again. It was like what the heck was I to do about it. I told her that I would tell Patsy. That was all I could do about it.

That was my day. SUCKED!! Anyway, I am going to get off of here and go make supper. And then go to bed and hold my Baby. Have a good night all. Roxi

One More Day Over With...

Well, I made it through another day. I am so glad to be off the next two days. WHOOOOHOOO!! The airshow went on without any more incidences. On the airfield anyway. This morning at 10 a man and woman came in and asked for the hospital in our town. I looked at them and the guy was a very handsome older gentleman and the lady was a very distinguished lady. The man had a string thing around his neck, you know the kind that most people have keys hanging around their necks. Anyway, one of those things. At the end of it was a square nametag looking thing. I don't know what to call it but a name badge. Anyway, it was Chandy Clantons' father and assume her mother. I held my hand out to the man and told him that I was very sorry to hear about his daughter. He shook my hand and shook his head and said "thank you." Patsy helped them with what they were looking for. They were looking for their daughter and thought that she would be in the local morgue. We don't have a morgue. We have funeral homes. They went to the local funeral home and no one was there so Patsy gave them the number to the one that was in Rock Port. So they finally got reunited with their daughter, I presume. They never came back in. But it made me feel really good to have been some good to have been able to identify her father just by his name tag. Most of the time I can't remember names but today I was in prime form. Not BOASTING. I would never do that, but it still made me feel good.

Anyway, wanted all of you to know that I made it through day alive and somewhat unnerved. Or nerved. I was talking to my Baby about the incident and I was crying and pretty upset. I got over that somewhat. I wanted to share that with all of you. It was pretty freaky, honestly. But that is for another post. Maybe after I get myself convinced that I am not insane. My Baby doesn't think I am, but oh man, I do.

So goodnight all. I will talk to you tomorrow and let you know what I was talking about. Just don't laugh at me when I do. Have a goodnight all. Hold your Baby real tight. Roxi

A Afternoon That I won't soon forget.....

This weekend they are having an air show in Tarkio. A couple of pilots came in that were with the military. They had uniforms on. This afternoon, I went out and had a break about 2:30 or so. I could hear some of the planes. When I got back in, about 15 minutes or so. A guy came in and said that "there was something going on out there at the airport. People were going crazy. Running around and just acting crazy." We soon found out that there was a plane crash. A lady came in and said that "they called lifeflight in, but cancelled it. So everything must be alright." I looked at her and said "OK." The lady behind her said (after the lady was out the door) "That no it wasn't alright." She was working at the nursing home where Bill's dad lives and she saw what happened. Apparently, a plane was doing some loopty loops and went straight up and came straight down. No noise, nothing. It hit hard and alot of dirt. No fire explosion. Just dirt flying.

So later we found out it was a young lady in her 20's or so. Tonight I was looking at http://www.kmaland.com/ and they had on there news section that it was a young mother at the age of 35 who was flying the plane. Her name was Chandy Clanton. She has a website as well, www.chandyclanton.com very pretty VERY YOUNG. But a christian. SO I am kind of rejoicing but also very sad for her father and sons. There are some pictures of her on her site.

They are still having the airshow tomorrow. I guess the "show must go on." I couldn't, but I guess it isn't me. I have to work. Even if I didn't I still wouldn't go. They scare me just to watch. Honestly, I think that it is going on way too close to the town. The only thing between the town and the airport is a little creek and about a quarter of a mile. She went down between the airport road and the creek. Right in the bean field. Apparently, belly-up.

My Baby was blogging and read a really good post from our friend Jan. He said that I needed to read it. It helped me alot. I needed to laugh. Thank you, Jan. ;) Yes, Jan we love to hear your embarrassing moments. My Baby tells me that I am warped. ;)

But for tonight I am going to go to bed and hold my Baby real tight and pray for Chandy's family. And for a safe flights for all the pilots tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes. I will probably hear if anything happens like that again. I pray that it doesn't. I hope that they stay East of town. I am about a mile and a half from it. If that.

Good night all. Hold your baby real tight. The monsters stay away if you do. Sleep tight all. Roxi

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Happy Birthday to dear Sarah Marie Agnew. She would have been 13 this year. A teenager. That is so scary to know. I named her after the movie Sarah Plain and Tall. I loved all of those movies. I just wanted my baby to be plain and tall. I know silly. She was born in Hebron, Ne. On this day at 4:54 p.m. weighing 8 pounds 4 ounces. We got out of the hospital at 9 the next morning. I wanted to share her with the world. I was so excited to have me a baby girl. The day after we got home we came back to Missouri to show her off.

In August I realized that there was something wrong with her. I told my husband then, and he looked at me and told me that "I just wnated something to be wrong with my little girl." I wanted to hit him so hard. I did tell him "yea, I want my Baby to die." I took her to the doctor the next day and I told him that there was something wrong with her. "That she was loooking just like my first son." He told me "Well he is fine." I yelled at him and said "He is dead." With a little frays and frills on there. We went to Omaha not to long from that day and found out she was had Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type 1 (SMA). We put my son Allen in an iron lung when he was 5 months old and all that did was prolong the inevitable. I swore that I would not do that to any of our other children. So on December 20th of 1996 she passed away in my arms at the Children's Hospital in Omaha Ne.

So for today I wanted to share that this is my baby girls' birthday. I love you so much and I miss you more than words could ever say. Love, mommy

Everyone have a good night and I will talk to you tomorrow. Roxi

P.S. Thank you Baby for putting up with me an my stupid ways. Thank you for making supper, for loving me, for mowing our yard, for supporting me in EVERYTHING that I do, for just plain LOVING ME AS I AM. I love you with all of my heart. Love, ME

I HAD TO DO IT!! Laugh as hard as you may!!

If you have ever used an electric fence you should read this, not intending
to offend anyone just trying to put a smile on a few faces! The language used is a bit smutty and/or course, but 'he tells it like it is' without cursing. If you don't laugh hysterically at this,...CHECK YOUR PULSE...this is funny....and true. This was sent by a retired dentist.

“ We have the standard 6 ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence. Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 26 miles of fence. I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod, and drove it 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works. One day I'm mowing the back yard with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6 hp big wheel push mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way. It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all. Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the 20charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover. Time stood still. The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine. It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of shit lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses. Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand. At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go. I grew up on a farm so20I know all about electric fences ... but Dad always had those piece of shit chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled. This one I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas. 'Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank! Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, pee, and with my vomit on my chest I think 'Oh God please die ... Pleeeeaze die'. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot. So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day ... he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created. I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire ... I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned. There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot where the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire. Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things:
1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.
2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).
3- Poop, pee, and vomit when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think.
4- My left eye will not open.
5- My right eye will not close.
6- The lawnmower runs like a sumbitch now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better than new after that.
7- My nuts are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long.
8- I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still don't understand this???).

That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow. The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow.”

I am sorry if I offended anyone by this but I am still laughing my arse off on this. I can actually see the poor guy. Have a good night all. Roxi

A LONG WONDERFUL WEEKEND!!

i was supposed to have had a 4 day weekend but OH NO, I had to work Friday. It actually made us both mad. They had me call them thursday night and one of the new girls they hired a week or so ago ended up just quitting. I hate it when they do that. So since there was me or another woman that could work they called me. So I had to work 11-4. When we got there, Patsy was actually a HUGE B****!! The first thing out of her mouth was "Why didn't you call Bernie (the other lady) that way she didn't waste a vacation day." Than she was telling us why the other lady quit, mostly. Not the real reason. She did say that it was OK that she quit, she was fine with it. I wanted to smack her. Then after my Baby left, she came up to me and said "that I know you are doing me a favor, but you really need to have a shirt on that has a collar." And see before my Baby left I told her that she needed to redo my vacation days so I still have 40 hours. She tells me "I don't have to do anything." So when she told me that I swear someone had their hand over my mouth because I wanted to say "I don't have to do anything." It pissed me off and made my Baby off really bad.

So for this weekend we haven't done anything at all. Sunday I did laundry. I didn't have to do all of them because my Baby did a couple of loads on Thursday. (thank you Baby) So today and Saturday I haven't done much of anything. Today we went to Tarkio and my Baby filled out an application to be the custodian for the Methodist Church in Tarkio. He used to clean the Baptist and Methodist Churches here in Fairfax. He also cleaned the post offices in Tarkio and Fairfax. So hopefully he gets the job. They are actually pretty excited about it. He would rather do that than build grain bins for Alva. He has yet to hear from him on work. Alva came by Thursday and My Baby called him back on building the bin roofs. But, he hasn't been back by since. So I maybe driving myself to work tomorrow. I hope not. I love to have that extra time with him.

so I guess I am getting off of here and getting busy doing something. Have a goodnight all. Hold your Baby real tight. Roxi

Raining Again...

But NOT COMPLAINING. Oh, no way wil I do that. We have had some pretty good rain but, not 30 miles away they got baseball sized hail. That is WAY TOO BIG. We don't want any of that crap. There was a video with some kids that had a sack full of those hail balls. It was insane. We had some pretty good rain, but that was all. Than, this morning before we went to Tarkio to start my 3 days of work it was thundering again. The storm didn't hit until about 9:30 or 10. It wasn't too bad.

I don't know what else to talk about. I have a 4 day weekend coming up. Don't tell anyone. I don't want any visitors. I hate to say that, but I just want us here at the house. It is the big RODEO weekend up at Tarkio. YEEEHAAAA!! NOT!! I put in 3 weeks ago for the weekend off and I just about had to work Saturday. But on last Saturday the assistant manager and I were talking and she said that she would work. So we talked about it and I told her that she could have Monday and Tuesday off if she would work Saturday. So today Patsy and I was tlaking about it and she said that she wished that I could have Saturday off like I had vacation days for. I told her that the assistant and I worked it out so I have it off and she has no overtime. Patsy tells me that I need to start doing the schedule. I told her no there is no chance that I would deal with the people on that one.

My Baby and I was talking last night about the flea market that will be held in September (that I am taking two more vacation days off for) and we were talking about maybe me making some christmas tree ornaments for it. I don't know. They have some in the Mary Maxim catalog real cheap. There is one kit in there that is for $34.99 for 100 ornaments. There is some more in there 24 ornaments or $9.99. So they cost less than 40 cents a piece. I could sell them for a $1. or so and still make a killing. But I just don't know how many to make. You know?











The first two and the last one are the ones that just cost $9.99. The third one is the set of 100 for $34.99. BUT there are 20 of each set on that one. There is a colored one (that is showing) there is also one that is silver and one that is gold. The others have 16 to 20 or so in the kits. You have to make them they are made with beads. One year I made angels from beads for everyone in the families. They were really pretty when they got done. I just don't know if they would sell and if they do sell how many do I make to take over to the flea market? So I am the worst on myself. I don't know what to do. I know I want to make them and see. I guess what doesn't sell we can give them to everyone for Christmas. I was also thinking of selling them on Etsy with my Baby's stuff. But me I am one scared puppy to try anything like that. So anyway, that is what I am thinking about. I know that I could make them, but what toi do with them after they are made?

I guess I had better get off of here and get supper going. Have a great night. I will talk to you later. Hold your Baby real tight tonight it makes things better, I promise. Goodnight all, Roxi

I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN

There isn't very much going on. Right now Bobby and Amber (his girlfriend) are here visiting. Bobby has been here about everyday all week long. I love it.

My Baby and I were talking last night about how time flies. It is amazing. I can't believe that I missed the whole month of May. I am so sorry to each and everyone. I will try to stop playing Pogo and get to blogging alot more. That is what I have been doing is playing Pogo.com. It is so much fun. That and working ALOT. My paycheck Friday I had 1 and a half hours overtime. The assistant manager went on vacation on that pay period. So that was really nice. Too bad that they have to take taxes out or we would be sitting really good. But of course, Uncle Obama, has to have his cut. My boss and I was talking Friday when we got paid and she said "wouldn't it be nice to have a year tax free." I was like "hell, yeah." But of course reality hit and we got jack.

I was really worried earlier. There was a tornado warning in Mound City and Grandma and Grandpa went down there to go to McDonalds' and so for about an hour and a half we were very worried. They are home now. They said that they just got rain, but right after they were home there was a tornado just south of there. I talked to my folks, they live down there and mom said that they had some large hail. Their neighbor's son was in Oregon and his car got BAD hail damage. They said that there was softball sized hail. That is way too big. We just had some nice rain, it didn't last very long at all. I am so glad that everyone was alright.

There isn't much else going on so I will let you go for now. All of you have a good night and let your Baby hold you real tight. In those arms the storm will not hurt you. Goodnight all. Thank you Jan for commenting on my blog and thank you Baby for encouraging me to continue on with my blog. Have a good night. Roxi

Talk to MUUUUCCCHHH!! LOL!!!

The News That Is News At Fairfax!!

Lol!! Not Cornfield County, sorry. But we do have cornfields around here. Anyway, on with the news.

It is raining here. Has been for about an hour or more. At one point we got in the car because we were in a tornado watch. You can tell by the pictures of our backyard there is nothing south of here but fields and no trees. So since tornadoes go from the south to the north we are kind of scared to be in the trailer. We had a good "frog-strangler" as my Baby calls it.

Bobby came by with his father today when they were picking up Trey. Yes, Trey Daniel spent the night. I was so excited. It was the first time since January. So anyway, he was saying that he danced with Amanda all night.. He left after Prom to go to his girlfriends' house. He said it was getting to close for him. After prom they have an After Prom thing. Where they lock the kids in someplace so they can't get out and get drunk. When I was in school we had the first year of after prom thing. We got locked up in the Legion building. We had a casino night. When I was a senior we got locked up in the YMCA down in St. Joe. That was kind of cool, except that I started and I couldn't go swimming. It is a lot different now. One year the kids got locked up in the movie theater and one year they got locked in the bowling alley. This year they got locked up in the new gym at the school. I couldn't believe that they got locked up at the school.

My Baby just about passed out yesterday when we went up to the school to get pictures. He said that he would have had a fit if his mom would have came to the school where they were having the prom. And then Bobby didn't bring his date to the dance or bring his date a coursage. She brought it to him. They were supposed to have met down at the carwash so he could ride the limo to the school. I think they still got to ride it after the pictures were taken, but I don't know for sure. The picture of the guy with the horse and carriage was the man that I used to babysit for whne I was a kid. His name is John Zeliff. He lives outside of town about 2 miles north of where I grew up. I babysat for his oldest daughter (who is Elizabeths' age), her name is Lauren. When she was a baby she had something wrong with her heart and she was on a heart monitor. I remember sitting in the rocking chair holding her when she was asleep, and then I would hurry up and hook her up to the monitor. She was born in 1986. So I was 15 when I started babysitting for them. I babysat for them until she was 3 or 4. And then I got to babysit again for them when Bobby and their daughter Leslie were 2. I stopped when Leslie just kept biting Bobby. She bit him hard quite a few times. I would sit her in timeout and everything. She wouldn't stop for anything. So one day I bit her back. I just got so sick and tired of it. I thought if she thinks that my son is a chew toy she is going to find out what it feels like. Her momma didn't like it when she called me up and asked me and I told her "yes, I bit her." She informed me "that they didn't need me anymore." I told her "good, I am tired of her chewing on my son." And I hung up on her. It kind of bothered me that she would get mad at me. I actually babysat for them quite a awhile. When I took that picture of John on that carriage, he just waved real big to me. It made me feel real good. I had known John forever. His dad gave my brother, Doug, a dog. It was a rat terrior, we named him Bozo. Don't ask me why, but that was what he called him. So I had known them for a loooonnnnnngggg time.

Sorry, I got to chasing rabbits. I do that alot. My Baby was singing that song about "Talking to much." I guess I do now that I look back on it. Sorry. I am going to get off of here and find that song for him. Lol!! All of you have a good night. Don't forget to hold your baby real tight tonight and the storms won't bother you as bad. Goodnight all, Roxi

GOTTA SHARE!!!!!

This is our son, Bobby. Isn't he so HANDSOME!! I am very biased when it comes to our kids. So tonight is his prom. He went with a girl named Amanda Yocum. They call it a "safe date". They aren't dating or anything. I think that it is so cool. He is supposed to be riding in a lemo, and the carriage is to take the dates to the prom. Right now, it is raining, so they will have to wait on that one.

Anyway, that is the exciting thing going on in our little part of the world. It was so great. I will talk more in a little bit. Just wanted to share this with you right now. Roxi

I Don't EVER Do This!!

Bear with my folks. I don't ever get on the kick of politcis. One, because I don't know much about it. And two, it just doesn't interest me. BUT!! (and there is always a but, sorry)

"Missouri has delayed tax refunds and quietly borrowed $325 million from its cash reserves in order to pay employees, public schools, hospitals and other bills.

If officials had not acted to keep the state afloat, Missouri would have been $100 million in the hole at the start of April, according to state financial documents obtained by The Associated Press.

Gov. Jay Nixon's director of budget and planning confirmed Monday that the delay in tax refunds and the borrowed money both were necessary for cash flow purposes. Those actions come on top of about $180 million in spending cuts previously made by Nixon's administration to keep the budget in balance.

Other states, including Kansas, California and North Carolina, also have delayed tax refund checks this year because of cash-flow concerns.

Although Nixon's administration never publicized it, Missouri borrowed $175 million from its reserves in February and an additional $150 million in March, according to an April 2 cash flow analysis by Nixon's Office of Administration labeled as an internal draft.

Missouri began its 2009 fiscal year last July with $557 million in its budget reserve fund. The state constitution allows money to be withdrawn from reserves for cash-flow purposes so long as it is repaid with interest before May 16.

Such short-term borrowing is not unusual. The state has tapped reserves in six of the past seven years. But last year's borrowing, for example, simply built up the state's bank account balance rather than keeping Missouri's general revenue fund from hitting zero.

The financial documents show Missouri paid out about $81 million less in tax refunds from January through March than it did in the same quarter last year. A separate Department of Revenue document, also obtained by the AP, shows that individual income tax refunds accounted for about $65 million of that reduction.

Revenue Department spokesman Ted Farnen acknowledged Monday that cash-flow concerns are one reason that tax refund checks are being delayed. He said the agency gets updates about once a week from Nixon's budget office detailing how much money is available to be refunded to taxpayers.

"If there were refunds that was ready to go and we didn't have the money for a certain time period then, yes, we would have to hold that refund until we got the money," Farnen said."

Now isn't that FOOLISH, folks. I am sure that I am wrong on this. But, here is my opinion. If they didn't give money to every Tom, Dick, and Harriet. Okay, there are plenty of people in this town that get Disability for being FREAKING LAZY!! Seriously, they don't ever do anything, have never done anything, and will NEVER DO ANYTHING!! I understand being disabled, but these folks are NOT. They are depressed, bi-polar, or just fat and lazy. Literally, fat. There was this lady in this town that gets a "fat-check" as she herself calls it. Now, folks, there are plenty of people who deserve it and yes should have it.

And then the food stamp program. Don't even get me started, as my Baby says. There was this couple, she worked at the nursing home in a nearby town and her husband gets HIGH all of the time. He will admit that he does. She came in to Caseys' and got some food (mostly sodas and a salad) with FOOD STAMPS!! I looked (and I know I am not supposed to, just curious) and after she got it I looked at the remaining balance and she still had $400.00 left. THAT IS FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS!! My Baby's wife left him with 2 kids and they wouldn't -WOULD NOT- give him a dime. The FREAK up the street- who lived in a SHACK- had a BRAND NEW HOUSE ACROSS the Street, which her dad willed her money and they moved that in 10-12 years ago- lived in a one bedroom shack that my Baby wouldn't use for a woodshop- they get foodstamps and DISABILITY- for being freaking LAZY. She works at the hospital and he has never worked a day in his life.

There is another right across the street, her name is Sara, her daddy was in prison for molesting her cousin and for having meth. Once he even blew up the house they were living in in Tarkio with a meth lab, and the town gave the poor FREAKS money and clothes. He FLUNKED SCIENCE (not even kidding) when he was in school. BUT we're smart enough for a meth lab. YOU BET!! Anyway, so she lives with her grandma, who works at the hospital, and since her grandpa was lazy and wouldn't have bypass surgery, they get DISABILITY and FOOD STAMPS.

I am sorry for going off folks. I know that I have no right to pass judgment on anyone. But if the state of Missouri is holding -HOLDING- working class fools (like us) refund for whenever THEY want to pay us. Of course, they take it out of our paycheck right away. But we have to wait until they get off of their arse to give it back. I HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM WITH THAT. I am sorry.

That is probably why I don't get into politics. IT REALLY UPSETS ME, can you tell?! Sorry folks. I had to do it. Have a great night and I am getting off of here. I am going to go to bed real soon. I GUESS I AM A LITTLE CRANKY PANTS!! Sorry again. Have a good night all. Thank you for letting me rant. Roxi

Very Lazy Day today!

In the last three days- they flew right by. Saturday we got the laundry all done. Yesterday, being Easter, we just relaxed. Actually we took a 2-3 hour nap. I fixed my Baby the Easter meal. We had Ham, deviled eggs, and potato salad. Not much, but for us a feast. I also finished up my Whimsy Ball that I made for a co-workers daughters baby shower.

So today, I fixed my Baby's jeans. Got a pair of them hemed up for him. I am pretty proud of myself. I got everything accomplished that I wanted to on this wonderful three days off.

Besides that I got to spend three glorious days with my Baby. I absolutely do NOT want to go back to work tomorrow. I know I should be happy that I have a job, but I LOVE BEING HOME WITH MY BABY!! We can relax and just sit around and enjoy each other's company. We NEVER EVER fight. Once a month, on one day (only until I take Ibuprofin) I go off like a titan missle. I know when I need to take the medicine. And it goes away. That is the only time. We have been together for 3 years and 7 months. And have only had a spat three times. They were at the first before I knew to take the Ibuprofin. So now we don't. All three times it was my fault, and I am so SO SORRY, Baby. I love you with all of my heart. Thank you for spending all this time with me. I have had the most wonderful days with you, we haven't done this for quite awhile. Thank you. I am so proud of you for working as hard as you have lately. I am very proud of you. Keep up the great work.

Have a good night all. Let your Baby hold you real tight. I know I am. Maybe he will make the night go REAAAALLLLY SLLOOOOWWW so I won't have to go to work that soon. Good night all. Roxi

HAPPY EASTER!!

I once read on a Baptist Church announcement board that is out by the highway and it said "The devil is not afraid of a Bible with dust on it." I am so glad that mine is in a zippered up Bible carrying case. So it doesn't get dust on it. ;) LOL!! I got in it the other day when my Baby asked me what the shortest verse was. Do you know? It is (of course I have to look it up) John 11:35 "Jesus wept." As I was looking at my Bible there were a couple of things in there that I would love to share with all of you. In time I will share all of it. But today I am going to give all of you the emergency numbers, you can copy if you want. They will help you when you are in need or troubled. My Baby gave it to me when my son, Bobby, was in a hospital of sorts.

EMERGENCY PHONE NUMBERS

When in sorrow- call John 14
When men fail you- call Psalm 27
If you want to be fruitful-call John 15
When you have sinned- call Psalm 51
When you worry- call Matthew 6:19-34
Whe you are in danger- call Psalm 91
When God seems far away- call Psalm 139
When your faith needs stirring- call Hebrews 11
When you are lonely and fearful- call Psalm 23
When you grow bitter and critical- call I Corinthians 13
For Paul's secret to happiness- call Colossians 3:12-17
for understanding of Christianity- call II Corinthians 5:15-19
when you feel down and out- call Romans 8:31
When you want peace and rest- call Matthew 11:25-30
When the world seems biggger than God- call Psalm 90
When you want Christian assurance- call Romans 8:1-30
When you leave home for labor or travel- call Psalm 121
When you prayers grow narrow or selfish- call Psalm 67
For a greater invention/opportunity- call Isaiah 55
When you want courage for a task- call Joshua 1
For how to get along with fellow men- call Romans 12
When you think of investments and returns- call Mark 10
If you are depressed- call Psalm 27
If your pocketbook is empty- call Psalm 37
If you are losing confidence in people- call I Corinthians 13
If people seem unkind- call John 15
If discouraged about your work- call Psalm 126
If you find the world growing samll and yourself great- call Psalm 19

ALTERNATIVE NUMBERS

for dealing with fear- call Psalm 34:7
for security- call Psalm 121:3
Fir assurance- call Mark 8:35
For reassurance- call Psalm 145:18

*Emergency numbers may be dialed direct. No operator assistance is necessary.
*All lines to Heaven are open 24 hours a day!
*Feed you faith, and doubt will starve to death!

I know that these have helped me along the way. That, and my Baby being by my side, emotionally and physically. Thank you, Baby.

On that note, I wanted to share that with you and to say HAPPY EASTER. Please know and rejoice in that HE IS RISEN!! And thank you, Patty Wylie and welcome. I hope all of you enjoy your day. I think that it is going to rain today sometime. Which is fine with me. Yesterday I got all of the laundry done. Doesn't that feel so good? I know it doesn't take much to excite me. So for today and tomorrow there isn't too much for me to do. I love that idea!! Have a great day, enjoy your families. And if you have no family, just pray and thank God for giving us Jesus Christ Almighty. Which I do everyday. Have a great day. Roxi

Good Evening All!!

I hope you all had a good week. I had a week anyway. BUT I get a 3 DAY WEEKEND!! WOOOHOOOO!!! Right now I am crying. I just posted a comment on My Baby's blog to his step-dad. I was telling Don some of what I know he is feeling. NOT ALL, but some.

Easter, for me, is kind of messed up. I never knew (pre-Bill) what Easter was about. All I knew was that on March 30th, 1991 it was a Saturday, at 10:10 p.m. my son Allen Scott Agnew passed away. It was the day before Easter. So on Easter morning, we drove up from Dallas, Texas to Craig, Mo to bury my son. It was the same for Christmas. I knew that we celebrated it for the birth of Christ Almighty. I lost Sarah Marie Agnew on December 20th, 1996. I buried her on December 23rd. I told the caretaker that she WAS NOT GOING TO SPEND CHRISTMAS in the funeral home. He got her done before. I know that he had to work REALLY hard on that baby. But, with God's will he got it done. So on Christmas we woke up in Craig, and my son Bobby, opened his presents while Sarahs' were out in Nebraska unopened.

Anyway, my Baby just told me that neither holiday is about what I always have thought. Easter is about the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. So now (pre-Bill) I still think of Allen and Sarah's Death. But we also rejoice in that knowing that Christ died for our sins.

Explanation for Pre-Bill and Post-Bill. Pre-Bill was my life before my Baby, and Post-Bill is my life now. Before my Baby, I was the very woman that was not good for ANY man. I drank too much. Which I have stopped. I smoked pot. Which I have been almost 4 years clean. And I slept with the worst SKANKIEST men around. I just wanted loved. My song, pre-Bill, was "I hate my life" by George Strait. I ALWAYS told my EX (then husband) "that I would shoot myself in the head, but I didn't want him to clean it up or Bobby (my son) to see me that way." I told him that all of the time. I have this HUGE SCAR on my stomach from when they cut me open to get my gall-bladder out. They had to completely open me up because my gall-bladder was imbedded in my liver 4". When they cut it out, I was bleeding out. For an hour and a half surgery, I was in there 6 1/2 hours. They almost lost me. When the doctor was taking out the staples I looked at him and told him he should have left me alone. To me, now that I think back, and I know I was serious. They should have put me on something. I just had Trey Daniel in March, 2000 and in September, 2000 was when I had my surgery.

But now, I am SO GLAD TO BE ALIVE!! I have my Baby and I have a great future to look forward to with the man of my dreams. I love you with all of my heart, Baby. Thank you for taking so great of care of me. I am SO LOOKING FORWARD to being with you the next three days!!!! I am going to get off of here. Everyone have a great night. Take care and I will let you go for now. Good night all. Don't forget to let your Baby hold you real tight. Roxi

Absolutely Beautiful!!

Today was a DAY!!

As I told Jan earlier- it was a 'DOOZY'. Weather-wise was weird. We woke up this morning and it was kind of spitting snow. Then about noon or so it cleared off. This lady came in and said she just got back form St. Joe and they were having a blizzard. She was in a blizzard for about 35 miles and she said she got to Mound City and it started clearing up and she got another 30 miles and it was sunny. Talk about WEIRD. So this afternoon it warmed up to 54 degrees and my BABY got to till the east garden. I am so proud of him.

I felt TERRIBLE this morning. First off we both HATE thursdays. That is the day that most of the deliveries come. And most of the time the manager won't do her job so I have to check in the deliveries. So that means with the RPO I have to scan the product and on one of the deliveries the guy is a real pain in the a**. And then to top it off Marie was there. Who is our district supervisor. She has a HUGE PROBLEM with my Baby and I kissing good-bye. There for a little while a few peoople were bitching about my Baby and I kissing. So they would tell her. One lady actually told her that "the new assistant manager and her husband were making out." MAKING OUT!! We kiss, we don't grope or do anything inappropriate, at all. I don't feel right my Baby leaves and I don't get to kiss him goodbye. I am so afraid of something happening to him before I get to see him again. My Baby told Patsy that it makes him "uncomfortable someone watching us kiss. " We both told her that neither one of us was going to stop because of our fears. We just don't do it in front of Marie. We did get to peck on the lips. But not like we usually do, and I don't like that at all. So Marie and three other workers took the bottom shield guard off of the shelves. They are going to have someone come in and strip the floors and wax them. They are going to have the floors done on Monday night.

Today I got told who the person was that stole. There was a girl that told me everything that she took. And it wasn't a FOUNTAIN or a PIECE OF PIZZA. Oh no she took off of the shelf. Some king size candy bars, cigarettes, and stuff like that. And supposedly she does it quite often. The sad part is: is she is very dependable (likes to take a lot of days off) but she still works when she is there. So Patsy is dragging her feet alot, I am so afraid that she will be fired along with the thief. I sincerely hope not. I really like working with her. Today she (Patsy) did tell me that I was NOT going to do donuts. She doesn't "want me to be in the kitchen because I spoil her". My Baby said "yea you do because you do her job." Well, I try. Not spoiling her, but I do alot of jobs up there. I never EVER brag on myself, but I am very proud of what Patsy said. But I also know that I sure don't want to get up before the butt-crack of dawn. Those people get up at 3:30 in the morning. I didn't even know that it comes twice a day. LOL!!

Thank you Jan for visiting and commenting on the new look. I thought that it needed to be Springy. I think that it does actually. We are going to go to bed and have ourselves a great night. I have to kiss my Baby the right way. And I can't wait. All of you have a great night and kiss and hold you Baby real tight. It makes the world go away, which is a really GOOD THING. So Goodnight all, Roxi

Way TOO FUNNY!! ENJOY!!

Absolutely Beautiful!! AMAZING!!

APRIL 1st OH MY GOSH!!

Today started out good, except that we had to get up early. I had to be at work at 8. I know, it isn't too early, BUT for me it is. When I was at the window in the kitchen I looked out and there was this little rabbit sitting there. I HAD to take its picture. Of course it wasn't smiling, but it still was cute. ;) Apparently, on this new camera, there is a anti-shake button on it. My baby has it on, because I shake so bad. I don't know what is wrong and NO I am NOT going to the doctor, I don't want to know.

And then we got to work and Patsy tells me that we need to make sure that we have our receipts with us when we leave, because she got told today (before I got there) that someone is taking things out without paying for it. Someone being employees. And she also said that that person is going to get fired. FIRED!! Before we had a meeting about this EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE (even Marie, the district supervisor) took things out without paying for it. Mainly like filling up our fountain drinks up before leaving. We get our fountain drinks free (the employees) and we also get 50% discount for food. So you know, it is a bad habit NOT to pay but before it did happen. So now for 2 weeks or so we have to pay for a refill or not take the cup home. Which that is what I do, not take any home. So I don't know who she is talking about, but it is kinda stressful right now. I have this HUGE problem with a guilty-conscience. HUGE!! I have always had it even when I was little. So I have been pretty bad today and it has been a VERY LONG day. I think there was a thing in that little information thing they give out that said they had 1400 stores. And in our store there are 18 employees, 10 or so are full-time. So what I think is that, you know, I understand that there needs to be a stopping point for stealing. But with 1400 times 20 employees that would be right around 2800 people. And I am sure that there are more because most stores are a whole lot bigger than ours. And yes the stealing needs to stop but give the employee (especially one that is always at work and sorks hard) give that employee a warning. Say to them " I know that you screwed up, but we are watching you and if you do it again we will fire you." Not walk in to work and all of a sudden say "You're fired." Hand you your pink-slip and out you go. My Baby says that it is a scare tactic and that he doesn't scare easy. Oh, but I do. If I didn't have deoderant on I would have been sweating bullets and really stinking. I am not doing well with this. SEE, I told you I have a guilty conscience.

On to other things. I am making a chocolate cake today. I didn't get to make Trey one for his birthday so we are making one today for us. I love birthdays. They are my favorite. Mainly because of the cake, but because we lived an extra year. I think they are great. So that is what I am doing. Besides ranting. Thank you for telling me that others do it too, Jan. That really made me feel better. I don't have to much political thoughts or religious thoughts. Mainly what I have to deal with eveeryday and the people. Which either one isn't all that great to talk about. But, I am getting off of here for now. You all have a great night and hold your Baby real tight. It always makes me feel so much better. Good night all, Roxi